Struggling with Perfectionism in Parenting? These 3 Resources Can Help
Perfectionism in parenting can feel relentless. I used to believe I had to show up flawlessly for my children—avoiding every mistake, never raising my voice, and always having the “right” response. The result? Burnout, shame, and constant self-doubt.
What finally began to shift things for me were not “how-to” parenting guides full of scripts and strategies, but resources that helped me understand myself. Two books in particular—The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read by Philippa Perry and Parenting for Humans by Dr Emma Svanberg—changed the way I approach motherhood. They showed me that my big feelings made sense, that I wasn’t broken, and that real connection comes from repair and compassion, not perfection.
These parenting books aren’t about forcing yourself into someone else’s mold. They are about seeing how your own story, your own childhood, and your own expectations shape the parent you are—and how you can begin to parent with more freedom, presence, and joy.
And sometimes, the best parenting tool is as simple as loop earplugs!
In this post, I’m sharing the top 3 resources that helped me overcome perfectionism in parenting and why they continue to ground me six years into my journey. If you’ve ever struggled with trying to “get it right” as a parent, these resources might be the compassionate shift you’ve been looking for.
How to Look After Yourself When the News is Difficult
Struggling to look after yourself with all the bad news? Here are some tips from a therapist who works with overly responsible first daughters to help.
How to Stop Carrying Everyone Else’s Load: 3 Steps to Letting Go of Over-Responsibility
“Do you constantly feel responsible for others' feelings and problems? Learn 3 simple steps to overcome over-responsibility and start setting healthy emotional boundaries.”
What Evangelicals and Pentecostals Get Wrong About Emotions and What We Should Do Instead…
Theology deeply shapes our view of the world, self and others. Evangelicals and Pentecostals must rethink our relationship with emotions.
Training as a therapist and learning from psychologists, theologians and researchers in the field of trauma and spiritual abuse one thing is true. No matter how well intentioned we are, we need to be able to pay attention to the harm bad theology causes.
When we categories emotions into 'good' and 'bad' we do harm to ourselves and our communities. When we resource ourselves to be able to sit with and move through difficult emotions in community, we heal. And healing is miraculous.
Let's create cultures where healing can happen. Not places where people are shut down or rushed and their experiences minimised or denied.
Why Lowering Your Standards May Pleasantly Surprise You
You’ve always been the strong one. The reliable one. The one who just “figures it out.” And now, navigating life as a new mother, wife, daughter, friend—you still feel the pressure to hold it all. But what if holding it all isn’t the goal anymore?
Maybe the anxiety isn’t because you’re failing—but because your standards were never meant to carry everything. Especially not alone. Maybe “letting go” in some areas is not weakness, but wisdom. It’s not that you don’t care—it’s that you care enough to stop burning out.
Lowering your standards isn’t lowering your worth. It’s making space to actually breathe, heal, and grow on your terms—not perfection’s.
You Were Taught It Was Sin—But It Might Be Trauma
If you grew up in evangelical or Pentecostal spaces and if you also are the “responsible one” or first-born daughter—you may have learned to see every struggle through the lens of sin. But what if what you’ve been calling sin is actually unhealed trauma? In this blog, we explore how over-responsibility, childhood wounds, and over simplified theology can distort your view of yourself—and how a more compassionate, holistic approach might offer the healing you deserve.
The Boundary Isn’t the End—It’s the Beginning of Real Connection
Boundaries are not only about keeping people out as is commonly believed, they are also about maintaining love and care for yourself and the other person. Prior to this your relationships may have been about prioritising the others' needs above yours. This may have been the only way you knew how to be in the relationship, boundaries allow for another way where your needs are also considered and whether both parties are equally important. This protects from resentment, burnout etc and can actually save the relationship in the long run.
The Power of Trying Again: What My Plants Taught Me About Growth
Struggling with self-doubt or black-and-white thinking? Discover how even a struggling houseplant can teach us about growth, healing, and why you’re more capable than you think.
How to be the Parent You Needed
When I first heard the word reparenting, I rolled my eyes. Another therapy buzzword, I thought. As a new mum, I could barely keep up with “real” parenting—why would I add another kind to the mix? But when I finally slowed down enough to listen, something clicked. Reparenting wasn’t about dismissing my parents’ sacrifices; it was about tending to the child in me that never got what she needed.
For many of us—especially eldest daughters of immigrants—childhood meant growing up too fast, being the “extra parent,” and learning our worth through responsibility. We know how to work. We know how to give. But we don’t always know how to play. Reparenting invites us to change that.
In this blog, I share why reclaiming play is central to healing, how to stop perfectionism from hijacking joy, and why reparenting doesn’t mean rejecting your faith—it can actually deepen it. Because at the heart of it all is this truth: the child in us is still here, waiting for us to finally show up.